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Its all about me and what brought me here

Photography saved me. Only being a hobby for many years, I had become so wrapped up in my career in EMS; photography fell to the wayside, I hadn’t picked up my Canon for 2 years while studying to be a paramedic. Every ounce of passion, energy, and spare time was consumed into EMS; working full time, full time school, practicums, and exams… I was becoming incredibly stressed, burnt out, and wasn’t looking after myself properly. Like many I didn’t listen to my body and pushed farther. Then came the bad ambulance calls, and the call that changed my life; one of my biggest fears became a reality. I was called to a cardiac arrest at my in-laws. I not only failed in resuscitating my father in-law, but I watched my husband say good-bye, and felt my entire world crumble around me. For a lack of better terms, I was broken; I over extended my stress meter. I forgot what was important in life; I focused only on the destination and forgot to enjoy the ride.  For a couple of weeks I anguished in my head, felt broken and misunderstood, all the while questioning my life’s intent. Until one warm spring day a friend inspired me to pick up my camera. I didn’t venture far, just around the yard capturing the effects of spring. But day after day I felt I had something to look forward to, a reason to get up in the morning, I was seeing beauty in everything, and had found my smile again. I became more interested in making my photography art, not just snap shots, and I enrolled in an online course to step out of auto mode. I started a Facebook page to share what I was capturing with whoever wanted to see, and my page began to grow. Mainly with friends and family at first, who of course have nothing but complimentary comments; but then I started getting fans from all around, and inquires of whether I photograph people. I suffered from some isolating social anxiety during this time, and the thought of photographing people terrified me. I was such an outgoing and gregarious woman before; it made me angry how being in public affected me. I decided it was completely illogical to be so afraid; so I used my camera as confidence, and jumped in headfirst. That was 2 years ago, and I haven’t looked back.